The Backstory

Alternatively titled: "Seriously, Another Stupid Blog?"

All great ideas have to start somewhere. Mine was in a pair of hanging-by-a-thread boxers hunched over a rickety card table, a sludgey mug of instant coffee in one hand and a giant cup of disdain in the other. 40% for the "must read" nowhere-near-as-hysterical-as-advertised blog open on my laptop, and 60% for the trail of dry dogfood extending 30 feet from the back door, through the kitchen, to the blank stare wagging before me.

Okay, disdain might be too harsh... I'd come to accept and laugh at the neatly organized piles of dogchow scattered throughout my life and my house. I've theories on why my beautifully neurotic mutt does this, but we'll save that for another day. At the moment the only thing I can see is the narrow entrance to my kitchen... which today is a vast river of dry animal by-products. Which wouldn't be so bad if either of my mouth-breathers had any inclination whatsoever to eat the food. Or if the broom weren't in the kitchen.

I was struck by a desire to vent.

Not to call mom. It needs to be bigger.

Not to bury a Facebook status update between posts about a hopeless Farmville sheeping accident and a baby's diaper soup.

Bigger.

Something so big that hords would flock to it like a yearly Meccan pilgrimage. Something big enough to match the center-of-the-universe view that I share with four-legged, drain-clogging daughters.
Let's BLOG!

Really? BLOG? Seriously?

So I thought...

And thought...

And I realized that... I have some fucking hilarious stories. And I produce better stories on the double-ply every second morning than most of the incoherent brain-melting blogs. Blogs that would be better composed by elbow-punching keyboards in the dark. Plus, the world needs more humor and less running over other people with cars (true story). And when my fifth-grade drawing ability is coupled with my furry yet adorable flea-bags, there's no end to the silly artwork to illustrate our antics. So...

Let's BLOG!

But really? Another BLOG?

If there's a word that sounds more pre-teen than BLOG, I can't think of it. Of course, I'm not counting the lazy-ass non-words that you can't even pronounce like ROFL, LMAO, and OMG (seriously, someone in the next cube just used OMG in a sentence. Next stop, spelling bee). The only response to those are a bacon-wrapped rawhide and a right-hook to the temple. No... BLOG is easily the most juvenile-sounding word ever to infiltrate our lexicon enough to be used in serious places like behind a podium brandishing the Great Seal of the United States of America. And yet it's the world's most perfect word to describe a collection of stories about slobbering, shedding, whining, shitting beasts as could ever be imagined. So...

Let's BLOG!